The Bad Threads

[Cheeky Charlie]

Roy:

Thanks for your suggestion but I'm not that good with Excel, could you do it for me and maybe improve my project with any other suggestions?

I think you mean:

Thanks for your suggestion but I'm too lazy to work out the one or two tiny little tweaks needed to apply this to my situation, could you do it for me and maybe improve my project with any other suggestions and wipe my a**e for me, I'm having some problems?

[Cheeky Charlie]

I also like:

What you've done may or may not work brilliantly and may even be an astoundingly precise application of the most powerful features of software you've obviously invested hours in learning...

but I asked you specifically to solve my problem exclusively with use of abs() vlookup() and dateserial() and you've used a function I don't understand - I therefore brand you a fool and scorn your effort

Occassionally this is appended with "anyone who's not a total and utter moron like the guy who's already tried to help me want to have a go?"

[darkyam]

Here's one I see sometimes: The Punctuation-Free Post
hi i have a spreadsheet with two sheets in it b1 of sheet 2 has sum of column a of sheet 1 what i need is b1 to have either the sum of column a or the sum of columns a b and c if ...

Also, the Text-Message Post:
How r u? I h8 xl. Here's my prob....ne help wud b gr8!

My favorite one ever was from ozgrid. The post has since been deleted, but the title of the thread was "Do my work for me". And that's exactly what the OP wanted. No please, no apologies, no asking for help, just a demand. It was so funny I actually printed off the thread and showed it to some people in the office.

[BigBas]

I don't so much mind the posts where the user has obviously spent very little time explaining their problem; with those, I just spend very little (or no) time answering.

The ones that really annoy and frustrate me are those where the user is clearly trying to overdo things so that they look good in front of their boss. And, you know they are going to take credit for it and pretend they are some excel mastermind.

[royUK]

I think text speak should be banned.

[ChemistB]

I think text speak should be banned

LOL, I agree!

[EdMac]

And not just from the forum - everywhere!

[Cheeky Charlie]

I think text speak should be banned.

...

Sub MkThrdNrdbl()
Dim letters()
letters = Array("a", "e", "i", "o", "u")
For i = LBound(letters) To UBound(letters)
    Cells.Replace letters(i), ""
Next i
End Sub

...
thnk txt spk shld b bnnd.

[royUK]

And not just from the forum - everywhere!

Couldn't agree more

[Macdave_19]

I’m not very good with Excel but here’s what I want. When the spreadsheet is opened, it automatically queries the user on his/her name. Then it will automatically import all the pertinent data from 10 different workbooks, sorting by date.

I’d like the cells to color code depending on which of the 100 users initially made the entries and for the rows and columns to autoformat to fit the cells but no bigger than 15 cm. I’d like blanks between each group of entries with hyperlinks to the previous group.

I’d like cells to have audile prompts for the user when he/she clicks on them informing them of what is to go into the cells and where the dependents are.

It should have 34 sort and filter macros each connected to a button with a user form that will engage the user in a game of chess while they wait for the workbook functions to complete.

I’d like the form to autonumber and fit on a single page.

Thanks for your help.

ChemistB
PS. If we can do this without VBA, that would be great.

This is classic!! i know i'm no legend and i ask some dumb questions sometimes but this takes the buscuit, did he ask you do take the kids to school, nip to the shop and F*** his wife as well lol!!!

[Macdave_19]

...

Sub MkThrdNrdbl()
Dim letters()
letters = Array("a", "e", "i", "o", "u")
For i = LBound(letters) To UBound(letters)
    Cells.Replace letters(i), ""
Next i
End Sub

...
thnk txt spk shld b bnnd.

That's so funny i laughed hard!!!!! made my day!!!

[Cheeky Charlie]

Thanks for your suggestion but I'm not that good with Excel, could you do it for me and maybe improve my project with any other suggestions?

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-work...of-values.html


AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHahhahahahahhaaaa

[broro183]

I had quite a chuckle when I read this thread recently & then I went & looked at some new threads & one of the first I saw was after an answer to Life the Universe & Everything aka a "Master formula". I thought it was so appropriate for here I had to throw it in the mix, check it out...

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-new-...r-formula.html

[royUK]

There's also been a few threads asking for "simple vba to...." If it's so simple why ask?

[teylyn]

another classic, posted recently

How can I write a speadsheet driven by VBA for a small office supplying 3 products, the system be used to keep track of the sales the company make.The system can use excel worksheets to display data and should create any graphs onto worksheet, provide some GUI functionality to allow easy control of the system, have controls embedded into a worksheet or user form with controls on it, and also save its records to an access DB and the database be updated whenever records are deleted, added or modified. The records that the systems keeps track of contain information such as; salesperson's lastname, company name, product name,product cost, quantity bought, total cost, discount, date. The system provide functionality such as; display all data, add a new sales record(calculating total cost automatically, including discount where applicable), delete a sales record, show company data, etc.

... which he topped replying to advice to take it step by step, with ...

I have created the basic workbook and recorded a macro, how do edit the macro to accomodate the functionalitys needed?