Function to help generate sentences from a multitude of options?

So I'm not sure if this should go here or in another forum but here goes:
Right now I have a list of around 100 manholes, and each manhole has 8 different things that could be wrong with it (defects), each of those has 12 positions that they could be at in the manhole (think positions on a clock).

For example a manhole could have 2 holes and 1 leak at 5, 7, and 11 o'clock in the manhole.

In Excel I have a column for every type of defect that, when the defect column and manhole row match up, if the manhole has that defect, the number of defects is manually entered into that cell. If there are no defects, they are all left blank in that row. Then, the number of defects and type of defect is put into a different cell for formatting, so it looks like this:

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The numbers up top along withe at, bench, etc, are all for what I use as references when I'm building my sentences. I reference all the cells individually in order to create a sentence that looks something like this:

68409 has (2) Weepers at 2, 3 o'clock in channel and (1) gusher at 3 o'clock on bench

The Italics show what is selected from the sheet. I want Excel to do all the work for me, rather than typing in something like this every time:

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I'm not sure if Excel can help me at all because there are a lot of references and possibilities. I'm not afraid to have to do some of it myself, like making sure the sentence flows well or even put in heights within the manhole (Cause I need to do that too), but if something could get me started, then that would help a lot.

Thanks!
The two photos below are from my spreadsheet so you can see where everything is.
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