Dynamic & Auto Populating / Calculating Calendar

Hello - I'm hoping that this is something that can be done. I downloaded the basic calendar template in Excel that auto updates the days when you select a month and year. I'm wondering if there is a way that on the 1st and 16th of every month, I can have it automatically say "pay day!" as long as it falls on a Monday - Friday. If it's on a weekend, it bumps to the following monday.

On top of that - I would like it to also scan a table of data for any rows that have "funded" in Column C (see attached), and then looking at the date in Column D and automatically calculating the percentage of the figure in Column E on the corresponding pay date for that funded date.

For example:

Sean Smith closed and funded on 5/19 and his total purchase price is $654,632.00.
This deal would then pay out on June 16th, at 1% of the total price.
etc etc.

Is this doable? Do I need to go VBA?

Thank you everyone.

I figured out a less complicated way using the actual date ranges and SUMIFS formulas.