FORMULA ISSUE: Formula to find specific text and replace with alternate text

Hello,
I am falling down dizzy from trying to figure this out - Please help, if possible.

I have a worksheet with several columns. I need a formula to search column D only and each time a specific location is identified to replace that location with alternate text.
Example (ORIGNAL TEXT):
Column Dtext to text help.xlsx
BIRD
FISH
DOG
BAT
BUG
I need to search that listing and each time the word BIRD is mentioned have it replaced with FEATHERS and each time DOG is listed have it replaced with TAILS
Final result would look like:

FEATHERS
FISH
TAILS
BAT
BUG
All other text should stay the same and replacement text should appear in the cell of the text it is replacing.
This is a sheet used by multiple people several times a day and so the Find/Replace option really won't work.

Have working on this for at least 6 months and it just isn't going to happen for me. I thought I could use a Conditional format, but that is producing no results either.
ANY advice would be so appreciated.

Thank you,

We have too many users that have ZERO Excel knowledge and even less desire to learn - also, the locations all contain Underscores and odd spaces so it would make keying it in everytime very time consuming.

Thank you!