The Bad Threads

[Cheeky Charlie]

Dave @ Ozgrid put script on his post upload form that blocked that kind of word - took it a bit far though (something of a recurring theme there).

A less ridiculous method might work...

[Cheeky Charlie]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...date-info.html

I'm sad that people can't read and implement basic instructions...

[davegugg]

http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80145

This one is from a different forum, and the whole thread isn't bad, but it still makes me laugh. The guy posts on a thread that is more than 6 years old. He takes care to explain that VBE stands for Visual Basic Editor, then he says "plz suggest me a code" and "make it asap". Yikes.

[ChemistB]

I really dislike when people use texting shortcuts, leave out vowels, etc. Are they truely texting their questions in or are they just lazy?

[Cheeky Charlie]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-misc...-with-and.html

ow ow ow ow ow ow

[NBVC]

Check out this guy's sig...at another forum....

http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/member.php?u=131933

That's tellin' 'em!

[royUK]

I can understand the feeling!

[JBeaucaire]

Hehe....if you want a real chuckle, read his signature...THEN read the "Friends box" off to the right, made me laugh out loud.

[NBVC]

Yes, that is quite ironic and funny.

[davegugg]

I'm not a member there, can you link to a thread he's posted in?

[NBVC]

Here's the recent one I saw:

http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=478734

[teylyn]

Here, Dave: http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/showpos...06&postcount=2

I wonder how he keeps track of all the posts he makes. Does he keep a black list of OPs?

[daddylonglegs]

Does he keep a black list of OPs?

Everybody should.........

[martindwilson]

there you go . i just broke the friends duck!

[NBVC]

Everybody should.........

I know I do.... and those people actually haven't shown up in a long while.. maybe they are on many other blacklists too

[teylyn]

I don't. Yet.

What an administrative overhead! Do you keep an open Excel sheet with names and run every OP against it?

What a drag! I rather rely on my memory (OK, OK!! I know...) and just avoid certain plagues.


Then again, here's a nice one, but since I've banned the OP, there's no reason to keep the name on a list.

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...t-columns.html

[martindwilson]

what did you do with the stick then?

[teylyn]

I'll take it out when the Dutch have been defeated. Don't tell anyone!

[NBVC]

I don't. Yet.

What an administrative overhead! Do you keep an open Excel sheet with names and run every OP against it?

What a drag! I rather rely on my memory (OK, OK!! I know...) and just avoid certain plagues.

It's called a yellow sticky and it resides attached to my monitor.... there is not that many on there..... yet!

[teylyn]

Yikes, NBVC, you mean a "post-it"? As in "r ip-able, tangible paper"?? How do all the names fit on there?

[NBVC]

Well, it uses a piece of scotch tape to ensure it doesn't easily come off... and if it gets lost... oh well.. Like I said, only 5 or 6 names on it... and if I see the names, I think I will recognize them.... not a big deal.

[daddylonglegs]

...memory...post-it notes.....scotch tape......you guys are at the cutting edge of technology <joke>

Oh, I was joking about having a list too, when somebody arouses my ire I jump up and down and swear at the screen, but ten minutes later when I've calmed down I reply as quickly as I can (before DonkeyOte does), not because I'm an addict, of course, it's just my forgiving nature.......

[teylyn]

guess it's time for my own little paradigm shift -- OPs beware!

[Andy Pope]

I haven't used it myself but does the Ignore List not work like a blacklist?

http://www.excelforum.com/faq.php?fa...ublesome_users

[teylyn]

Andy, it probably does, but where's the fun if you don't relish that you're not responding to certain OPs

One of my favourite dismissal phrases is "I'm not even ignoring you!"

[Andy Pope]

Oh I completely agree, that's why I don't use it <beg>

[martindwilson]

paradigm shift !!!!!!!
I am out of my depth here!
i don't even know what a "digm" is
let alone one with a red beret!

[davegugg]

This thread:

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...-a-matrix.html

had me thinking, it would be useful to inform people they were being too vague, but in a way that helps them learn VBA. I was thinking of something like this:

Please Login or Register  to view this content.

However, is this too ... sarcastic?

[ChemistB]

I live in New Jersey. Here there's no such thing as "too sarcastic." I like it. I can see it being put to use when the OP is asked over and over to load an example spreadsheet but pretends not to notice.

[martindwilson]

@paul what? what naughty language is that? must be some strange regional thing!!!!!!
chr(116,119,97,116) is hardly a swear word where i come from it's used as an mild alternative to some much worse words. perfectly acceptable to use in front of mum/gran!!!!

[Cheeky Charlie]

My Mum would hit the roof, however, so perhaps it's a regional thing. My Gran would be fine, but then my Gran is the kind of old lady who uses words like chr(110) & chr(105) & chr(103) & chr(32) & chr(110) & chr(111) & chr(103) without any qualms...

Also, I want to know what naughty language is being deleted?

[Cheeky Charlie]

I like your code Dave, a way to obfuscate it further would be to derive the code numbers mathematically; somewhere on here are a load of examples of people using polynomials to create words of six letters at a time in code... not sure I remeber where it is - people were being clever/smug rather than asking questions which could be searched for!

[teylyn]

CC, maybe something like this?

Please Login or Register  to view this content.

Edit: PM me if you don't get it.

cheers

[sweep]

CC, maybe something like this?

Code:
Sub lime()
Dim i As Long
Dim s As String

For i = 0 To 3
s = s & Chr((37 * i ^ 3 - 159 * i ^ 2 + 134 * i + 684) / 6)
Next i
MsgBox s
End Sub
Edit: PM me if you don't get it.

cheers

Can this be done without macros? I'm scared of them because I don't understand them.

[teylyn]

sweep, take a deep breath, then download or buy a John Walkenbach VBA tome. Immediate relief.

[Cheeky Charlie]

Edit: PM me if you don't get it.

lol, I thought I was cheeky

Can this be done without macros? I'm scared of them because I don't understand them.

also lol

also, ideal candidate?
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...web-query.html

also, groan
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-misc...-tracking.html

[martindwilson]

ah teylyn ,one of my all time favourites
i have actually said that to people!

[teylyn]

Martin, I've been on IT-help lines early in my career. "My printer does not print" and all. Sometimes, if you throw them an acronym, especially if it's a non-English speaking crowd, you can deflect a lot of trouble.

"Oh, I know what that is."
- "Oh, do you?"
"Yes. It's an RTFM problem."
- "Ah, OK, then. Thank you"
"Take care! Glad to be of service."

[NBVC]

Mommy, help me!!!

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ting-time.html

[martindwilson]

i bailed out of that after the first post lol! good luck tho' chemistb is still hanging tough.

[ChemistB]

If we could just figure out how he's calculating things, it'd be simple. But he did tell Teylyn

I honestly don't know how to be much clearer then that. ADD up the TIME.

ACK!

I am however inspired by PB71 and his dedication in this thread
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...n-a-table.html
a total of 60 posts but he got a "Solved" out of it, I think a record for General Excel.

[Marcol]

Not as short and sweet as teylyn
But might appeal to ChemistB

Rem: Always use Option Explicit

Please Login or Register  to view this content.

Hope this helps

[NBVC]

If we could just figure out how he's calculating things, it'd be simple. But he did tell Teylyn ACK!

I am however inspired by PB71 and his dedication in this thread
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...n-a-table.html
a total of 60 posts but he got a "Solved" out of it, I think a record for General Excel.

Don't you love how for every step forward you take.. a new twist is added to send you back again

[Marcol]

Might this be a candidate for the best ever?

Or have I had to much beer?.. ...burp ..

RIDICULOUS Chart Printing Error
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ing-error.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am pasting excel sheets into a PowerPoint presentation, and they have been blacked out/have a black shape over them when they are printed. They look fine on the screen and when printed via black and white.

I am pasting special enhanced metafile (I need high quality images). If I paste the chart into a powerpoint presentation by itself, it will print fine. If I add anything else to the presentation it has the problem. When I create a new chart in a new excel file, everything works fine. However, something seems to be wrong with my old excel file/chart template. I would prefer not having to rebuild dozens of charts and templates from scratch, so any help would be greatly appreciated!

Excel 2010, PP 2010, Windows Vista

R.I.P.
Marcol

[ChemistB]

::::::AN IDEA:::::::::::
Thank you for posting that fine picture (when we asked you to upload a dummy workbook). Attached is the solution to your problem. Let us know if you have any more difficulties.

Think they'll get the picture?

[Cheeky Charlie]

ROFL

I am definitely going to do this - although my response will probably read something like:
"Solution attached"
Followed with a second post:
"or perhaps this alternative solution"
<same attachment>

[teylyn]

The classic example here, http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...07139-sum.html post #10

[martindwilson]

anyone fancy a go at this?
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...riorities.html
and while you are twiddling your thumbs
perhaps this
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ve-totals.html


aah i see cc couldnt resist the challenge at

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...riorities.html

[ChemistB]

The classic example here, http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...07139-sum.html post #10

Ahhh, should have known shg would have thought of this before. The scary part is the OP didn't even get it, didn't even blink. Sighhhhh

[Mordred]

So, I'm not going to pretend to be anywhere near the caliber of you gurus but what I often wonder is why don't a lot of people record a macro and then implement it into their own codes. I know I have asked a few questions on this forum but for the most part, I tinker with VBA to try and figure out my own sense of appropriate code. If I cannot, I'll record a macros to do roughly what I want and if that doesn't work, I'll post a question here. I guess some people want to learn and some people just want stuff done for them. No doot aboot it eh?

[royUK]

So, I'm not going to pretend to be anywhere near the caliber of you gurus but what I often wonder is why don't a lot of people record a macro and then implement it into their own codes. I know I have asked a few questions on this forum but for the most part, I tinker with VBA to try and figure out my own sense of appropriate code. If I cannot, I'll record a macros to do roughly what I want and if that doesn't work, I'll post a question here. I guess some people want to learn and some people just want stuff done for them. No doot aboot it eh?

That's the right way to learn!

What is really annoying is posting code that the user makes no effort to understand then posts back with an almost identical problem that just needs a slight tweak.

[Mordred]

Not that I want to beat a dead horse (although the horse probably wouldn't care), but I have something to say about this post:

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...xt-number.html

I read that with an utmost fascination and had some good chuckles regarding all the bantering about whether or not a random number could be predicted. I'll also be honest, some of the terminologies used by different people made my eyes cross and water at the same time but I solved the problem in layman terms. The next number in the sequence is....wait for it.....wait for it............any fricken number you want it to be, its random.

[davegugg]

Bonk never actually said random... maybe he wanted a formula for the list of numbers, assuming the first is Y(1), the second is Y(2)... the 91st is Y(91). Does anyone have time to do a regression for a polynomial with order 91?

[Mordred]

Sorry davegugg, I posted the wrong link as that last one I posted was closed.
Here is says

Yes. Also, the numbers are random. I am trying to find the next "random" number

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...-sequence.html

[Marcol]

I don't think this was necessarily a bad thread in itself
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...lank-cell.html
But the outcome didn't leave me best pleased.
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...lank-cell.html

How many rules did that infringe?

[royUK]

More to the pont why did our valued member reply? He should have known better, we can't spot them all immediately & it's really up to regular posters to not answer or post a warning as you did.

[Marcol]

The valued member was monitoring, and helping, the new thread, not someone elses' old thread from 4 months ago.

It was the coincedental times (Today, 03:06 AM & 03:09 AM) of the replies that drew attention to the situation.

I don't think it reasonable to expect any moderator to pick up that situation, but perhaps if the new question in the old post.......

It was really the OPs' novel approach to cross-posting that annoyed me.

[royUK]

He posted his own question, then found a similar post & hijacked it.

His hijacked post was answered, that's what I was referring to

[Marcol]

OP highjacked thread
Today, 01:20 AM

Then Started new thread
Today, 01:44 AM

My apologies for misunderstanding your reply.

[davegugg]

I've always wondered if the moderators want / don't want us "regular" members to warn others when they are breaking forum rules. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I can imagine the mods get quite tired of saying "put on your damn code tags!!!" Mods, do you have a preference?

[JBeaucaire]

More to the point why did our valued member reply? He should have known better, we can't spot them all immediately & it's really up to regular posters to not answer or post a warning as you did.

I can't say I checked the OP against the poster on that question. I just answered it. Sorry, I usually spot those and message you guys, didn't spot it this time.

[romperstomper]

I've always wondered if the moderators want / don't want us "regular" members to warn others when they are breaking forum rules. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I can imagine the mods get quite tired of saying "put on your damn code tags!!!" Mods, do you have a preference?

I'd vote "Yes, please".

[Cheeky Charlie]

I've always wondered if the moderators want / don't want us "regular" members to warn others when they are breaking forum rules. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I can imagine the mods get quite tired of saying "put on your damn code tags!!!" Mods, do you have a preference?

I'd vote "Yes, please".

That's good, I always do, particularly thread titles. Good thread titles are so incredibly valuable if you're one of the few who try to answer their question with a little research first.

[royUK]

I would welcome our established members issuing warnings, I even amended the Rule to read that way

7. Don't ignore requests by Administrators, Moderators, or senior members of the forum. If you are unclear about their request or instructions, then send a private message to them asking for help. Do not post a reply in a thread where such a request (e.g., title change, code tags) is pending.

[ChemistB]

Okay, I'm in.

[NBVC]

For the record... I am happy with that decision too.

[JBeaucaire]

I think this is well-practiced by many senior members already. Making it official is a great idea.

I'm still concerned that the Forum Rules link at the BOTTOM of every page is not the good link:

http://www.excelforum.com/misc.php?do=showrules

...and it would be so helpful if the actual rules were presented to new members during their registration process. That would be most beneficial of all, I'd think.

[royUK]

I think it's impossible to force new members to actually read the Forum Rules, only issuing warnings will make them see the results of not doing so

[Mordred]

I think that most first time forum users would need to be warned to read the forum rules. For me personally(and this probably holds true for many first timers), I was so fixed on my own problem that I didn't even notice the needs to read the forum rules, I just wanted to get my question asked and quick. I've noticed that most people will read and follow them once they are told to. One of you gurus should come up with a script that checks the first 5 posts of a new user against forum rules, specifically the Title rules and the code tag rules. That way you don't have to spend so much time checking to see if people have read the rules. If I'm not mistaken (and I'm still quite new to this), those 2 rules seem to be the ones that new members break right from the get-go.

[Andrew-R]

On the subject of bad threads ... is it just me, or is this one a little bit too much?

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...xcel-file.html

It seems to read like a high-level spec for a mini-application. As a newbie I've decided to ignore it, but I did consider:

a) Just posting a load of rubbish code, possibly as a JPEG
b) Posting "Try =A1+1"
c) Posting the link http://www.peopleperhour.com/
d) Asking to see their code so far, to see if I could spot the problem with it.

On reflection, ignoring it is probably the best (and most popular) course of action.

[martindwilson]

just point him/her here as i did him
http://www.excelforum.com/commercial-services-exchange/
that should do it !!!!!!!

[martindwilson]

One of you gurus should come up with a script that checks the first 5 posts of a new user against forum rules, specifically the Title rules and the code tag rules. That way you don't have to spend so much time checking to see if people have read the rules. If I'm not mistaken (and I'm still quite new to this), those 2 rules seem to be the ones that new members break right from the get-go.

i agree to some extent,posts are locked for the simple fact "help" is included in the title.
this forum is a pig to search anyway. I can't find some of my own posts because i can't remember the exact words I used. The super admin should be able to block certain phrases so you are redirected to the rules page as you attempt post.

[Cheeky Charlie]

I couldn't help myself:
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-misc...ml#post2402311

[ChemistB]

Now that's crazy talk.

[Domski]

Brilliant!!! Maybe they could house the pc with Excel in a different building to the one with Outlook and use a carrier pigeon to communicate the updates to each one. It just doesn't sound like she's making things hard enough at the moment

Dom

[davegugg]

Brilliant!!! Maybe they could house the pc with Excel in a different building to the one with Outlook and use a carrier pigeon to communicate the updates to each one...

Why not use Morse code instead of a carrier pigeon - it should be easy to write binary with dots and dashes. Plus no diseased "flying rodents."

[ConneXionLost]

And pass up the opportunity to remotely control airborne vermin with just an OFFSET function?

[teylyn]

This one for the Dumb Thread of the Month award.

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...age-field.html

[darkyam]

There's an award? What's the prize and am I eligible to enter and win?

[martindwilson]

you win
1.an all inclusive break to the code cage
2. free use of alt key for a month
3. a led on your keyboard indicating caps lock is on
4.unlimited posts in the water cooler

[ChemistB]

Can you say "anger management"? Sheesh.

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...is-errors.html

[darkyam]

I want to start a new ID on here with the screen name "jerk" and then respond. I could have all sorts of fun with that.

[ChemistB]

Darkyam, you'll have to fight Squiggler and TShucks for it. Apparently they've earned it. So this is one of THOSE Forums. LMAO

[TMS]

@Darkyam ... no fair, I wanted to do that.

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...is-errors.html

You know, sometimes you feel you should sit back and not get involved ... and then you just can't?

Only, sadly, I was Jerk II ... and then the thread was closed when it was starting to be fun.

[DonkeyOte]

I'm afraid I took the unusual step of locking down the thread to prevent any further escalation. Exchanges of that nature aren't really appropriate for a Q & A Forum.

I have notified the Mods of my action and it is obviously at their discretion as to whether or not to re-open.

For those that want to help answer the question the OP has since re-posted at MrExcel.com and has provided some sample data:

http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=503452

If you choose to post there I would ask you be constructive and by that I mean just don't continue that thread where this left off

Cheers,

[broro183]

hmmm...?

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...is-errors.html
It may be one of THOSE Forums, but it seems to contain some elements of truth...
I decided to see what I could find out about this chap & came across the statement "Jeffch has not made any friends yet"!

Somehow, I don't think that's likely to change too soon.

Anyway, that's enough from me, as they say - it's the lowest form of wit.

Rob

[daddylonglegs]

I note that the problem is now stated in a much more complete way - data and all. He may not have taken kindly to Squiggler's suggestion but he certainly seems to have taken it on board - well done Squiggler...

[Mordred]

I don't see why he was responding to Squiggler like that. Squiggler wasn't (in my opinion) a hard bum aboot it. That Jeff has some serious issues. No doot aboot it eh? Entertaining to read though.

[Mordred]

This one has to count. Forum rules were broken by 3 or 4 different people in this thread.
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-prog...gle-sheet.html

Edit: I can't believe how many views this thread has had. Over 6000!!!

[Paul]

Ok, closed that one. Four strikes and your out in this forum.

[ABSTRAKTUS]

sorry to reply a few months later. i managed to get that to work thank you very much.

What is the code to pop up to ask how many copies when i click the button?

Thanks
Dave

[shg]

This is not a question forum, ABSTRAKTUS.

[blane245]

"Hey, royUK, would you show me how to loop?"

[martindwilson]

roy's not around so read here
http://tabletennis.about.com/od/basi...learn_loop.htm

[teylyn]

"Hey, royUK, would you show me how to loop?"

That one was really funny. The hijack went unnoticed for a while, leading to a totally confusing, incongruous thread.

[broro183]

That one was really funny. The hijack went unnoticed for a while, leading to a totally confusing, incongruous thread.

Can you please post a link?
When I saw Blane245's post I thought it would be quite entertaining so I went hunting, but I couldn't find it with a Google search.

Thanks
Rob

[blane245]

Unfortunately the thread's been cleaned up so the original post is gone.

[Cheeky Charlie]

Damn our mods and their blind fascination with making the forum a free, usable, searchable resource for all.

Bloody socialists

[teylyn]

<big toothy grin>

[blane245]

Damn our mods and their blind fascination with making the forum a free, usable, searchable resource for all.

Bloody socialists

Free is free. Anarchists like it, too.

[6StringJazzer]

Prototypical threads:

I need to use Excel to lay out a schedule of tasks, who will work on them, the start and end dates, percent complete, and reports of current status. It needs to show a table of data, and also graphical Gantt charts. Critical path analysis would be a nice-to-have. I don't want to use Microsoft Project.

I want to use Excel to draw floor plan layouts, schematics, software state diagrams and class diagrams. I don't want to use Visio.

I am using Excel to write my résumé/CV, but am having trouble with some of the text formatting. I don't wan to learn Word.

[Domski]

I am using Excel to write my résumé/CV, but am having trouble with some of the text formatting. I don't wan to learn Word.

When I started my last job a lot of the people in the office used to write their letters in Excel It took me a while to persuade them the they would find things much easier if they used Word.

Dom

[Mordred]

When I started my last job a lot of the people in the office used to write their letters in Excel It took me a while to persuade them the they would find things much easier if they used Word.

Dom

Seems like common sense but I phind it quite common for common sense to be commonly ommited phrom a lot of people's lives.

[NBVC]

Seems like common sense but I phind it quite common for common sense to be commonly ommited phrom a lot of people's lives.

You missed one or two

Seems like common sense but I phind it quite common phor common sense to be commonly ommited phrom a lot ov people's lives.


I guess "f" in "of" would be "v"... if you want to totally eliminate the "f"

[JBeaucaire]

I want to use Excel for recipe testing and food analysis. I don't want to use an oven.

[Mordred]

You missed one or two

Seems like common sense but I phind it quite common phor common sense to be commonly ommited phrom a lot ov people's lives.


I guess "f" in "of" would be "v"... if you want to totally eliminate the "f"

I'm trying to catch them all but when I am rushing a may phorget to catch the odd one here or there.

[teylyn]

Ctrl-F.......

[NBVC]

You mean

CTRL-PH .....

[romperstomper]

Ctrl+ph surely.

[Mordred]

Haha, Ctrl+ph!! Now I'm going to have to get a custom keyboard made so that my "f" button becomes a "ph" button. The same would have to go phor ph1,ph2,ph3,...ph12. Hmm, I wonder iph it would have to be eph or just ph. I think I'm going to need bigger keys on my keyboard.

[6StringJazzer]

I want to use Excel for recipe testing and food analysis. I don't want to use an oven.

Please IM me, I think this can be done with a macro that calls device drivers written in C that force overclocking.

[JBeaucaire]

I want a macro to relabel my keyboard. I don't want to use labels.

[Paul]

Ooh, I want in on this..

What is asked: "Can you help me write a macro to automatically download up-to-the-second stock prices, compare them to my current holdings and let me know exactly when to buy/sell? Thank you ever so much!!"

What is implied: "Can you help my already lazy *** by writing a macro to make me more money so I can be even lazier. You won't see a penny. Sucker."

Too close to home?

[Cheeky Charlie]

I want a macro to invade an oil-rich country on flimsy evidence supporting a questionable moral standpoint.

I don't want to use a President or Prime Minister.

;-)

[JBeaucaire]

Seriously, Charlie? That's a risky comment.

[blane245]

I need a macro to fix my lunch while I'm in a meeting. Oh, nevermind, my copier can do that.

[Cheeky Charlie]

:D

Been reading GWB serialisation in the paper today. Consider it my support for DaveGugg's right to free speech...

[Domski]

Someone's hankering for a spot of waterboarding ;-)

Dom

[Cheeky Charlie]

Sadly, I can't change my signature for one post, but if i could, it would read:
"Waterboarding saves lives"

;-D

Not really, that would be a crap signature, my real signature would be:
"Puppies are very lovely"

[JBeaucaire]

I'm all for national defense and all. I'm against having a fun thread turn political.

[teylyn]

Ease up, folks. This thread should be fun. We don't want this very one to turn into a "bad thread". If it gets too tense for anyone, just please try to ignore it. And before posting anything inflammatory, please remember that the written comment lacks the non-verbal subtleties of eye-twinkles and raised eyebrows, and is easily taken too verbally.

I need a macro to fix my lunch while I'm in a meeting. Oh, nevermind, my copier can do that.

Isn't there an iPhone app that can do that?

[Cheeky Charlie]

Sorry folks,

I was being all twinkles and winks over here... as Teylyn points out, it's hard to tell. I'll edit my posts to help...

Meanwhile, I want a macro to overreact dramatically to jocular remarks about current political affairs... I don't want to use an internet forum about Excel.

ENORMOUS WINK OF MANY COLOURS:
;-)

[Cheeky Charlie]

Duplicate post issues...

[blane245]

Isn't there an iPhone app that can do that?

What do we need Excel for anyway much less an Excel forum? iPhone (thinks it) rules!

[ChemistB]

I'm one of the few individuals that doesn't have a cell phone, much less an iphone but I did get my wife an Ipad recently. The whole touch pad technology really is amazing.

[6StringJazzer]

I'm one of the few individuals that doesn't have a cell phone, much less an iphone but I did get my wife an Ipad recently. The whole touch pad technology really is amazing.

Actually, the touchpad part is nothing new, not even for Apple. The things that makes it all work is the supporting infrastructure and useful applications.

[Domski]

Actually, the touchpad part is nothing new, not even for Apple. The things that makes it all work is the supporting infrastructure and useful applications.

There's useful applications for it

Dom

[6StringJazzer]

There's useful applications for it

:D

Yes, most of what people do with these is in the category of, "I do it because I can." Well, calendars are useful, I guess.

[davegugg]

:D

Been reading GWB serialisation in the paper today. Consider it my support for DaveGugg's right to free speech...

Thanks CC
Who do I have to petition to get this site changed to Excel and Politics Forum??? There just isn't enough tension on this forum, and I feel mindless shouts of "Neocon!" and "Marxist!" could really spice things up. If you think about it, Excel and Politics are basically the same thing...

Speaking of GWB, don't know if any of you watch Comedy Central, but I loved when he was Prez and Stephen Colbert would bring on a guest who hated him and ask the either/or question: "George W Bush: Great US President, or The Greatest US President?"

[JBeaucaire]

Colbert cracks me up. I love his parody of Republican stubbornness... and I'm a Republican, so... gotta laugh at ourselves first.

[martindwilson]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...lp-please.html

Sorry thats not the answer I needed? Can you give me the correct answer. Thanks anyways.

[ConneXionLost]

When the OP posted that, I thought, "He must be a Manager."

[6StringJazzer]

When the OP posted that, I thought, "He must be a Manager."

"Bring me a rock."

[martindwilson]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...vl-lookup.html
this really pissed me off

[Mordred]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...vl-lookup.html
this really pissed me off

You handled that really well Martin. Clarity is so important on a fine forum such as this, even though it can be difficult at times to be clear. There's no reason for a guy like that to be an a$$ though.

[Paul]

If that is handling a conversation "really well", I'd hate to see one that goes badly.

In my reading of the thread, the original poster never became rude, and wrote in complete, punctated sentences to state his thoughts. In each post was a please and/or thank you.

There is absolutely no need to get short with other members, nor personal in suggesting how they should improve themselves, unless of course it's to politely suggest they take some Excel training.

Having worked in IT for quite some time, I know the feeling and at times wish I could express my real thoughts at the moment, but you just have to bite your tongue and assume the person across from you either misunderstood, or doesn't know enough to misunderstand.

Cheers!

[martindwilson]

oh i've worked in telecoms /IT for 37 years approx, and for me that was really really really restrained

[Mordred]

Post 7 is where I didn't like the feel of the message. And, it was after that that Martin dug into him a bit.

[martindwilson]

thanx modred.
but i suppose Paul as a mod is only doing his bit after all that's what moderators are for!
still i'm going down to oz with a kalashnikov lol
that's
Ingredients :
- 3/4 oz vodka
- 1/4 oz absinthe
- 1 slice lemon
- 1 pinch cinnamon
- 1 pinch sugar

[6StringJazzer]

I have seen a lot of threads where OPs get bent out of shape, usually because they say things so poorly that they don't get what they want. Or lots that aren't willing to do any intellectual labor, and want everything handed to them.

I have also seen a lot of threads where the responses are from well-respected and prolific contributors to this forum that give very, very brief responses. Sometimes such responses hit the nail on the head and the OP goes away delighted; other times they think, "Well, that works, but why?" I tend to err to the other direction, giving explanations when I give even a simple formula, assuming that if the person had to ask, he didn't know.

In this case, I see the thread going downhill at every step.

1. OP asks a question, includes a sample workbook. Good start.
2. Poster provides a formula that will work, but without explanation of what OP did wrong.
3. OP responds without actually taking the time to read the formula and see how it's different than his. Suggestion to re-read question is a bit cheeky.
4. Next response highlights the exact problem. "What do you expect to get?" could be an honest question, or a snark. Hard to tell. (That's where f2f beats online every time.)
5. OP still doesn't get it.
6. Response introduces additional issue with the data
7. OP, getting frustrated by now, sort of comes apart at the seams but manages to remain coldly cordial.
8. Response recaps the situation in a very factual objective manner.
9. Cooler heads prevail

As a spectator I am just sitting back with a cold beer enjoying the action.

[Mordred]

You are right 6String, sometimes there is no explanation at all for code and I've scratched my head at some the lines of code that actually work. I think that explanations are left out for a couple of reasons:
1. Most OP don't care how code works, just as long as it does
2. Knowing #1, why take the time to explain things?
Personally, if I don't know the how, I'm never embarrassed to ask. Every time I do ask, I always get an answer.
The thing about typed communications that I find fascinating is how one individual will interpret the intent behind the words compared to another person's interpretation. I've had my feathers ruffled here in the past and if I read those threads again I might interpret them differently (its possible).

[Mordred]

thanx modred.
but i suppose Paul as a mod is only doing his bit after all that's what moderators are for!

Paul defused the potential bomb that was about erupt and that's really good of him and yes, that's also what moderators are for.

[ChemistB]

I tend to err to the other direction, giving explanations when I give even a simple formula, assuming that if the person had to ask, he didn't know.

I usually wait for them to ask (and some do) for the reasons Mordred gave. I also sometimes feel like I am patronizing people when I explain formulas before they ask. It may be that the person understands Excel as well or better than I (there are days when I can't wrap my head around the simplist formula ).

[NBVC]

You have those who want to learn and then you've got these ones... geesh!

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-work...a-formula.html

[TMS]

@NBVC: I am so impressed that you can look at something like that and come up with a constructive response ... more than once. I suspect I'd have taken one look and kicked it right into touch :-)

[Domski]

@NBVC: I am so impressed that you can look at something like that and come up with a constructive response ... more than once. I suspect I'd have taken one look and kicked it right into touch :-)

Ditto!!!

I'm guilty of looking at threads like that and thinking 'Where do I start?', Mostly wondering how they put the workbook together to need a formula like that.

[Mordred]

You have those who want to learn and then you've got these ones... geesh!

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-work...a-formula.html

How could you even decipher what that was to do? I can look at code and usually tell what's going on with it but that, that is like looking at......gibberish, at least to me.

[Blake 7]

Phew, thank goodness!!! None of my threads were here!!!!

Looking back at my very first thread........... it wasn't clear..... I didn't post a sample, it was terrirble!! Thanks goodness that DonkeyOTE has an interest and background in financial planning and picked up the gauntlet! or i'd still be working on that spreadsheet!!!

[6StringJazzer]

<sigh> I just cannot figure out for the life of me what this guy needs to do. Is it just me?

[ChemistB]

I'm not brave enough today to tackle that. Maybe after some (lots of) coffee.

[snb]

Don't worry; I gave an answer. Let's await the response....

[Mordred]

The more he tried to clarify what his requirements were, the more confused I was getting, especially when looking at his workbook.

[snb]

So please have a look at his last uploaded workbook again.

[ChemistB]

Arrrghhh, I've been seeing too many "I need a macro to do a really simple thing" posts lately!!! Okay, I feel better.

[Mordred]

Arrrghhh, I've been seeing too many "I need a macro to do a really simple thing" posts lately!!! Okay, I feel better.

I've noticed a fair bit of those too.

[teylyn]

Started in April 2010: I need a macro to do this

[ChemistB]

This is the recent one that got me. I just don't get it.

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...-last-row.html

[romperstomper]

My current pet peeves which will almost always merit a place on my 'ignore list':

1. A reply of "that won't work" without trying the suggestion.
2. After long discussion, a final post of "Never mind. I figured it out." with no further explanation.

[6StringJazzer]

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ml#post2447402

What is a socially acceptable response after you have after gone through as many rounds of "that's fine but let me explain what I really want" as you can tolerate?

[DonkeyOte]

As much as we would all prefer not to - sometimes - it's best just to walk away (notifying OP of course). Sometimes fresh insight is what's required for everyone's sake.
(note: not saying that's the case in your above thread @6SJ)

It has been quite apparent to me on a number of occasions that either I'm not understanding OP or vice-versa (or both) and on that basis have bowed out of the thread as gracefully as possible.

[Mordred]

It has been quite apparent to me on a number of occasions that either I'm not understanding OP or vice-versa (or both) and on that basis have bowed out of the thread as gracefully as possible.

The problem can sometimes lay in the idea. Sometimes the idea is complex and therefore hard to type out on a forum (or the idea is at least perceived as complex by the op). I've had a couple of my own threads where it took a few posts (and patience from people that I respect on this forum) to understand, and then help me understand what I have wanted. I've also read threads on this forum that have thoroughly confused me so I just move onto the next one. You guru's will (most of the time) at least try to understand what the op is wanting. Kudos to you all.

[NBVC]

Yeah, I have been on one of threads for a few days now!

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ent-cells.html

[Marcol]

The last post in this one (#7)
http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...st-number.html

Recalls the words of Hamish McInnes (One time Leader of the Glen Coe Mountain Rescue Team)

.....They venture confidently into the hills overburdened with expensive equipment and ignorance in directly proportional quantities.

I appreciate that everyone has to learn, and I am no exception, but.....

[ChemistB]

That's a gem.

[NBVC]

Whomever can figure out what is requested here.. please feel free to interject... I am thoroughly confused:

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-work...sales-tax.html

Whoever is successful get about 25+/- rep points

[royUK]

Lost me before you

[TMS]

That looks like an object lesson in how to say the same thing in many different ways ... well, actually, not so many different ways ... tax rate = (gross-nett)/nett ... or am I missing something?

[jwright650]

Whomever can figure out what is requested here.. please feel free to interject...

See if this is what they are after.....Added a new chart on the right hand side of their worksheet...enter Item cost, enter Total paid tax % is calculated for them in last column.


whoops, file is now1.14M....how do I shrink the rascal so I can attach it?

[NBVC]

John, feel free to respond directly in the thread.

[jwright650]

NVBC, OK will do.

[Marcol]

@ NVBC
Looks like your problem thread has been solved, but how it was solved, and by whom, remains a mystery to me at least!!!

[NBVC]

And the winner seems to be Cutter....Thanks. Rep+ given as promised.

[NBVC]

You are right Marcol...not really easy to see who actually gave the desired solution... so I gave rep to shg, jwright650 and yourself too for probably all giving working solutions... that I could not seem to come up with.

[jwright650]

I gave rep to jwright650

Thanks NBVC!

[Cutter]

Thanks NBVC. I'll take the points and run (fast).

Did you read OP's final post? What would be the tax if I don't know the item cost OR the total cost?

[NBVC]

Yeah, that's why I ran when I did... I can't understand why some people can't just give a straight sample covering all aspects.

I had another thread with the same OP that was approaching the same point.... one example at a time and forever changing requirements....

[jwright650]

What would be the tax if I don't know the item cost OR the total cost?

LOL....nice.

[TMS]

Maybe it was a Christmas present?

[Cheeky Charlie]

If I am 5'11" and my sister's name is Anne, what is the temperature in Arizona?

Also, don't bother NBVC, you are clearly no good at this sort of question. :D

[daddylonglegs]

If I am 5'11" and my sister's name is Anne, what is the temperature in Arizona?

Is it 234lbs?

[NBVC]

Also, don't bother NBVC, you are clearly no good at this sort of question. :D

My head is spinning!!! I am staying out of this one!

Rep points to whoever solves it from Cheeky Charlie!

[Domski]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/weather/forecast/510

Dom

[Cutter]

My answer is FALSE.

I'm basing this on the chance that one of your 2 conditions (either your height being 5-11, or your sister's name being Anne) is not true!

Wait - was that 5-11 in heels or socks?????

[JBeaucaire]

I'm thinking of a number....

What would the formula be to get the number I'm thinking to appear in a cell?

What would the formula be to get the number I'm going to be thinking of to appear before I think of it?

[Cutter]

Is Karnak a member? He can answer you!!!

[Marcol]

Q:= I'm thinking of a number....

A:= The number you are thinking of is 27

R:= I'm not thinking of 27....

A:= You are now!

[davegugg]

It's too bad Nostradamus isn't still around - he'd be able to write the exact formula you're all looking for...

[ConneXionLost]

If I am 5'11" and my sister's name is Anne, what is the temperature in Arizona?

The answer is always 42!

[6StringJazzer]

I'm thinking of a number....

What would the formula be to get the number I'm thinking to appear in a cell?

What would the formula be to get the number I'm going to be thinking of to appear before I think of it?

I read a murder mystery last year called Think of a Number. Spoiler Alert, highlight the rest of this post to read the text: The murder sends out letters to thousands of people, and it says, "Think of a number from 1 to 1000. Then open the second envelope." The second envelope contains a number, let's say 152. They all have the same number. So a few people are bound to think of 152. Those people generally freak out and the guys basically stalks them down and kills them.

[teylyn]

I'm thinking of a number....

This reminds me of the thread where the OP wanted to predict the next number calculated by =rand() based on the previous numbers received by rand() ....

[daddylonglegs]

This reminds me of the thread where the OP wanted to predict the next number calculated by =rand() based on the previous numbers received by rand() ....

OK, teylyn, there's no need to dredge all that up again, I was young and foolish in those days........

...anyway I got the answer on another forum and those lotto millions will start rolling in as soon as my master spreadsheet is finished... that little glitch back in '98 threw a spanner in the proverbial works but I'm still on target for 2017......29th February.....you won't be laughing then.....

[Marcol]

@ TMShucks

You have been warned, this has all the signs of being a classic....

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ormatting.html

[6StringJazzer]

@ TMShucks

You have been warned, this has all the signs of being a classic....

http://www.excelforum.com/excel-gene...ormatting.html

There are a few warning flags that always indicate a thread is going to head south. That's when the OP says any of the following, anywhere in the thread:

• Thanks for answering that question but here's what I really wanted.
• I guess I didn't explain that very well.
• Is that clear as mud?
• I have never used Excel before.
• Sorry, this is really confusing.
• I have no idea what I'm doing.
• Can someone please, please help? Anyone?
• I haven't had a response in 17 minutes *BUMP*

In the thread linked above, it's: "Lol, yea nothing I do really makes sense."

[TMS]

The worry is the implied cackle that goes with that phrase ...

[Blake 7]

Is it just me or has there been a sharp increase of people NOT marking thier threads as solved or even having the courtesy to answer once a solution has been supplied?

Can we not have a name and shame board??????

[jwright650]

Is it just me or has there been a sharp increase of people NOT marking thier threads as solved or even having the courtesy to answer once a solution has been supplied?

Can we not have a name and shame board??????

......and no there has been no jingling of the scales either.

[Cutter]

Yeah, that's my pet peeve - hearing no feedback after giving a solution. Getting the rep points is a bonus but I mostly just want to hear either a "Thanks, that worked" or "Thanks, but that didn't work". Preferably the former, though!!!

I think the rep points is simply a matter of people not knowing about that feature but the lack of feedback is strictly lack of manners. There's nothing we can do about that.

[Domski]

You'd think it would be common courtesy to say thanks but it doesn't seem that way.

Some are probably wetting themselves with excitement so much at seeing the solution work that they forget and I do sometimes wonder how many people think we actually work for Microsoft and are paid to do this.

Dom

[Blake 7]

lol Domski - I remember my first post - in fact it was like losing my virginity to that German girl with more
n i p p l e s than scaramanga! i'll never forget it!

I was in the poop at work as I was ordered to do something which I couldn't do (a planning and forecasting tool.... after three days and 3 nights of trying I came accross this site... posted in vain with no expectations when this suddenly a donkey appeared out of nowhere, not only telling how to do it but what it SHOULD be doing!!! oh boy, I tell ya, i needed a Tenor Lady that day!! EDIT::: because I wet myself with happiness (in ref to your post) not because i'm a deviant!

Q re the scales -

My cp page shows that I have 10 comments and 49 points... who else knows my score apart from me and does it count towards anything?

Do I get a fully paid weekend in Vegas when I reach 50 points?

[romperstomper]

My cp page shows that I have 10 comments and 49 points... who else knows my score apart from me

everyone reading this.

... and does it count towards anything?

No, not really.

Do I get a fully paid weekend in Vegas when I reach 50 points?

No, only when you reach 50,000 pts.